Is That So?

Ella (age almost 8) - "My friend's uncle knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that knows another guy who has his tongue pierced."
Lily - "Cool."

Small but Mighty

Lily (age 8 1/2) - "I like Pluto. It may be a small planet, but it could still make a difference."
Ella (age 7) - "And if not, it can be dealt with."

When You Gotta Go

Lily (age 8 1/2) - "Sometimes, when it's an emergency, you just have to hold it."

Ella (age 7) - "Yeah, I know."

Thirty second pause

Ella - "I have to think about unicorns."

The Opera

Lily (age 8 1/2) - "My trip to the opera is on the 27th, Mommy. Don't forget."
Me - "I won't, Lil."
Ella (age 7) - "I wish I could go to the opera. I need to learn how to break glass."

PowerPoint

Me - "What did you girls do at school today?"
Lily (age 8 1/2) - "I finished my PowerPoint."
Ella (age almost 7) - "What's a PowerPoint?"
Lily - "It's something about something that you do for something."
Ella - "..."
Lily - "Mine was about penguins."

Pigskin Pigout

Lily (age 8 1/2) - "Man, I love football. I mean, really love it."
Me - "Oh, yeah?"
Lily - "Yes. I don't understand it. And I don't know who plays it. And I don't know the rules."
Me - "..."
Lily - "But the food is great!"

Shoe Love is True Love

Lily (age 8 1/2) - "Why are shoes so important to teen girls???"
Ella - (age almost 7) - "Uh, because they don't want to get their feet dirty?"

I Don't

Lily (age 8 1/2) - "What are they building there?"
Me - "I don't know, Lil. Looks like a restaurant, maybe."
Lily - "What kind?"
Me - "I'm not sure. The construction isn't very far along."
Luke (age 4) - "I hope it's hot dogs!!"

Chips and Salsa

Lily (age 8) - "Mom, can we have some chips and salsa?"
Me - "Sure, give me a minute and I'll get you some."
Lily - "Mmmm, I'm a Mexican lover."
Lily - "Mexican FOOD. I don't know any Mexicans."
Me - "..."
Lily - "I'm sure I'd like them if I did, though."

Chores

Lily (age 8) - "Mommy, can Ella and I have some chores to get an allowance?"
Me - "Lily, that would be great. Can you start by helping me now?"
Lily - "Of course!"
Me - "Great! Can you put away all of the groceries that belong in the fridge?"
Lily - "Sure! I can do that."

That's Racist!

Lily (age 8) - "I laughed so loud, people in China dropped their noodles."
Me - "..."
Ella (age 6 1/2) - "Because people in China eat a lot of noodles, Mom."



Modest, too

Ouch

Me - "I want to go over and look at the swimsuits. I need a new one."
Lily (age 8) - "Uhh, do they make swimsuits in YOUR size?"
Me - "..."

Narrowing it Down

Lily (age 8) - "Was Dwyane Wade the basketball guy on that episode of Suite Life on Deck about the twister?"

Me - "No, that wasn't Dwyane Wade."

Lily - "Who was it then?"

Me - "I can't remember. Give me a minute."

Lily - "It was a really, really tall black man."

Rush

Sophie (age 2) - "Momma, me wuv Wush!!"
Me - "You love Rush?"
Sophie - "Yes! Wush!"
Me - "Um. Well. You certainly have an eclectic taste in music."
Lily (age 8) - "Mom. She means Big Time Rush. Duh."
Me - "Oh."

Make An Appointment

Heads Up!

Left for me today, by Lily:

One Minor Problem

Luke, to whom Lily addressed this note, cannot read.

NASCAR

(During a SportsCenter segment on NASCAR) 

Lily (age 7) - "Car racing? What is this crap?!?!"

Failure

(Kent is putting the kids to bed. Luke and Sophie are having full on tantrums.) 

Lily (age 7) - "Do you hear that, Mommy? That's the sound of failure."